What Strengthens You and What Weakens You: Two Questions That Change Everything

The most important questions to ask yourself are often the hardest ones to actually live by.

Before you make a decision—big or small—try asking:

What strengthens me? What weakens me?

Simple. Not always easy.

Because most of us don’t pause long enough to ask. We just do what we do.

Our habits take over.

How we think.
How we spend.
How we work.
How we “rest.”
What we say yes to.
What we avoid.

And over time, autopilot stops feeling like something you do… and starts feeling like who you are.

Every so often, we notice it and think we should change something. Fix something. Do better.

But the pull of the habitual is strong.

Not because you’re weak—but because your brain and nervous system are designed to conserve energy and stay with what’s known… even when what’s known isn’t actually supportive.

Here’s where it gets tricky.

Some of the things you’ve been calling healthy, productive, or responsible might actually be weakening you.

And this isn’t just about food.

Sometimes what weakens you looks like:

• saying yes when something inside tightens

• overworking because it feels responsible

• eating a salad with ice water on a cold day

• staying busy so you don’t have to feel uncertainty

From the outside, these choices can look fine. Even admirable.

But inside, something is saying no.

This came up in Ayurveda school this week—Class One, Week One—because it’s foundational:

What strengthens one person can weaken another.

Even “good” habits aren’t universally good.

Which means the work isn’t about following the perfect rule. It’s about learning to listen to yourself.

Not with judgment. With curiosity.

Listening to what expands you and what contracts you—physically, emotionally, mentally, financially.

There’s another layer that matters here.

When you do something that weakens you and then beat yourself up for it, you’ve just added another layer of weakening.

Shame doesn’t strengthen change. Awareness does. Compassion does.

If you want something practical and sustainable, try this:

Throughout the day, gently ask yourself: Will this strengthen me… or weaken me?

Then treat the answer like information.

Start with one thing.

Pay attention to the feedback you get.

Choose again.

No perfection required. Messy is fine.

Just start listening.