Healing money shame can change everything
Shame interferes with your ability to make money.
But before we dive into money shame, let’s define shame.
According to Brené Brown:
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love, belonging, and connection.”
Shame says: “I am bad.”
The focus is on the self, not the behavior. The result is feeling fundamentally flawed and unworthy of love, belonging, and connection. Shame is not a driver of positive change.
Shame therapist and author David Bedrick builds on Brené’s work by adding a deeper layer. He explains that shame isn’t just an emotion, though it produces emotions. He describes it as an internalized witness that lies, gaslights, objectifies, and pathologizes us. It causes us to abandon ourselves and believe there’s something broken inside us that needs fixing.
Shame is like fascia, it runs throughout the body, connecting and impacting every part of the psyche. Ultimately, shame is an act of self-attack, a kind of internal violence that prevents us from expanding into our wholeness.
Both Brené and Bedrick agree: shame is instilled early in life. It stems from how our caregivers responded to our individuality. Could they delight in you? Protect and comfort you? Did they shield you from harsh criticism, creating an inner witness that helped you hold onto your inherent goodness, or did they leave you vulnerable to a loud, internalized voice of shame?
So, what does this have to do with your money mindset?
Everything.
You can have money shame at any income level.
If you constantly feel like something’s wrong with you...that you're behind, not doing enough, or that others have something you don’t...you’re experiencing shame.
Money shame shows up in countless ways:
Feeling nauseous or tense when talking about how much money your business makes
Thinking: “I’m not smart enough to make good money.” “I can’t pay my bills.” “I don’t have as nice a house as my neighbors.” “I’m so bad with money.” “I chronically overspend.” “I have so much debt, I can’t get it under control.” “Wanting to be rich is selfish.” “I’m a trust fund kid—I’ve always relied on my parents for money.”
Shame is wanting to charge more but feeling guilty.
It’s avoiding your finances or feeling anxious when money comes up in conversation.
It’s comparing what others have to what you don’t.
It’s not having enough clients or income and turning it into a personal failing.
It’s being 50 with no retirement fund, or 25 and paralyzed by not knowing where to start, so you overspend or shut down.
Take a moment and ask yourself: How does money shame show up in my life?
In The Millionaire Next Door, author Thomas Stanley divides people into two categories:
PAWs: Prodigious Accumulators of Wealth
UAWs: Under Accumulators of Wealth
One of the hallmarks of UAWs? A desire to look rich. But they often struggle to manage, save, or accumulate wealth. My guess? They're driven by shame. Looking wealthy is a way to feel good enough, to belong, to be seen as successful.
Shame blocks wealth creation in so many ways. It causes us to behave in ways that don’t create wealth.
You might avoid networking because you secretly believe you're not good enough at what you do.
You might ignore your finances, rack up debt, or overspend trying to keep up.
You might say, “Once I do this next training, I’ll finally be ready,” but somehow, there’s always another training.
You avoid launching your podcast, email, or blog because you’re terrified no one will listen or care, or worse, that they will and they’ll judge you.
And energetically, your potential clients can feel it. They can feel when you’re unsure of yourself.
And remember what Brené said: Shame is not a driver of positive change.
It keeps you stuck.
It dysregulates your nervous system.
It isolates you.
It thrives in secrecy, silence, and judgment.
So what’s the antidote?
Exposure. Connection. Compassion. Empathy.
Healing shame means meeting yourself exactly where and as you are.
It means opening to the radical idea that you don’t need fixing. You are already whole.
Clearing shame not only improves your money mindset; it also frees you from the grip of anxiety and self-loathing. It increases self-love, self-acceptance, and self-trust.
And that?
That changes everything—emotionally and financially.
PS-If this resonated with you, you’re not alone. Money shame is more common—and more costly—than we realize. But it doesn’t have to run the show.
If you're ready to release the shame that’s been silently shaping your financial life and step into a calmer, clearer relationship with money, I’d love to support you. Let’s talk.
Book a free Awakened Wealth clarity call, and we’ll explore what’s really going on beneath the surface—and what it would look like to feel safe, grounded, and empowered with your money.
You deserve a relationship with money that feels aligned, easeful, and truly yours.
