From Scarcity to Surrender: How I Healed My Money Anxiety

I have not been shy about my money struggles and the intense scarcity mindset that ruled my life for about 45 years.

It’s all true. I didn’t come from money, but I was surrounded by it.

It was so close I was practically touching wealth…spending weekends with my best friend at her lake cabin, borrowing Benetton, Guess, and Esprit (yep, all those coveted ’80’s brands) from friends, attending the “rich kid” private Catholic school, going to teen dances and swimming at the country club, even taking one of my restaurant regular’s Porsches for a spin.

Yet, I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. I didn’t belong with the wealthy. I was just a visitor…desperate to get in, but I didn’t know the secret knock.

I chronically felt like I was missing something. Like there was something wrong with me. And underneath it all was the deep belief that making money was going to be hard… and keeping it would be even harder.

In my 30s, I discovered Brené Brown and the Law of Attraction. Practicing gratitude and watching my thoughts became center stage in my life.

I tried SO hard to get into “alignment” and embody a high vibe, hoping the Universe would finally see me and grant all my wishes.

Many things in my life changed, especially my mindset. I became much more appreciative, more aware of how my thoughts tended to be pretty shitty (I was definitely a glass-half-empty girl, and my self-deprecation was off the charts). It was a much-needed shift.

We even had some money windfalls. I’d hit peaks in my business… but I still felt insecure, like we were always scraping by.

The deeper feeling? I was completely invisible to The Divine.

Eventually, I gave in. I stopped chasing and grasping for money. I told myself, “If this is how life’s going to be, then okay.” But I was still anxious.

That’s when I found a Brainspotting-for-Money practitioner to help me work with my money anxiety.

At the same time, I read Tosha Silver’s It’s Not Your Money. The book spoke to me so deeply. It was such a relief to realize that my struggles with manifesting weren’t because I was invisible to The Divine or because I had some unfixable flaw.

The book invited me to let go, surrender, and practice non-attachment.

And interestingly…the money started flowing.

Clients were literally pouring in. I went from seeing four a week to twenty.

Then I made a financial misstep. One where I knew I was going against my intuition. I was furious with myself. In my family, you don’t make financial mistakes. You never risk money. And I did it—even though I knew better.

I kept offering the situation up to The Divine, asking to let me be okay with whatever happened. But my mind spun with regret and self-blame.

The spiral won out over surrender.

So I called my Brainspotting coach.

After our session, I felt immense relief. And then I clearly heard a message:“File a complaint.”

I researched and found out my case had been mishandled. I submitted the complaint.

And then… I was able to truly surrender. I felt calm. I knew I’d be okay, no matter how it played out.

Four months later, the complaint was finalized… and I won.

I wasn’t going to be out tens of thousands of dollars.

I was in shock. In awe. Sometimes I still wonder if it was even real.

I truly don’t think the outcome would’ve been the same without Brainspotting helping me regulate my nervous system—so I could hear the Divine messages and act on them.

The best part wasn’t even the money. It was that—for the first time—I felt seen by The Divine. Supported. Held. Like I would be taken care of no matter what my bank account said.

That was the true miracle.

I realized that my journey toward wealth was spiritual.

It was about so much more than money.

It was (and still is) about healing the parts of me that felt invisible and unworthy.

Now, I do this work with other women. Because it’s my deepest desire for every person I work with to feel this way.

To know they are seen.
That they matter.
That the Divine has their back.
So they can feel peace in their lives and stop grasping and chasing money and the illusion that money will bring them peace.

And then, to watch money flow toward them. Easily. Fully. Powerfully.

Want to feel this shift for yourself?

Join me live for Stop Stressing, Start Receiving: A Free Mini Money Mindset Workshop
Wednesday, July 30 at 11 am CT
We’ll explore the real reason money still feels hard… and begin to calm your nervous system, shift your beliefs, and open to receive.

Sign up HERE.