Why You Struggle with Consistency (It's Not What You Think)

I hear this from my clients all of the time:

"I can hit deadlines at work (albeit at the last minute). I can finish schoolwork and do things for others…but when it comes to me, I just can't follow through."

Along with things like:

"I can't finish what I started."

"I can't get myself to the gym consistently."

"I can't eat well."

"I can't take my supplements."

"I'm just blocked!!"

Why is it so much easier for us to show up for others than ourselves?

Why can we meet other people's expectations, get the homework done, and follow through when we have to—but we can't seem to do that for our own highest good?

The answer to this question is nuanced and complicated, and honestly, I could write multiple pieces of content on it because I know it WELL.

I have NEVER been someone who was great at following through.

I could start all sorts of projects, workout programs, meditation protocols, and classes…all to be easily abandoned. Unless there was a grade on the line, a certification I needed, or someone was relying on me to finish the thing.

But finishing something I started just for me?

Nope. That rarely happened.

As I recently wrote, I completed one full year of writing a weekly email and blog, and now I am almost two months past that. I was shocked. I kept asking myself: "How did I do this?"

I am also now on day 383 of meditation.

So somehow, over the past year, I have improved my ability to stay consistent with things that were primarily for me.

I mean, I write for you because I genuinely want more women to be financially empowered and living in their version of financial freedom and calm without all of the emotional BS we carry around about money.

But the more I write, the clearer I get on why I do what I do. I learn. I grow. I become better at my work.

As I look back on how I managed to stick with these practices, there are a few things worth noting.

I was committed.

And the more I did them, the more committed I became.

I was committed to writing for the reasons above.

I was committed to meditation because I desperately wanted my brain to sloooowww down.

A lot of my meditation this year has been yoga nidra (surprise!) and sitting outside first thing in the morning to get sunlight in my eyes, support my circadian rhythm, and start my day with CALM.

Because my brain needs that. Honestly, all of our brains do better when they start the day calmly.

Commitment to yourself also requires valuing yourself.

Believing that you are worthy of driving yourself to the gym, cooking yourself a healthy meal, sitting in the sun for ten minutes, or going to bed on time even though there are people who want things from you.

That's a bigger conversation for another day, but it's an important piece of the puzzle.

And I had strong reasons WHY.

Sometimes the WHY is incredibly compelling….a health scare, chronic pain, anxiety, or money troubles.

And yet many of us still don't do the thing that would help relieve the problem.

I think there is another piece that gets missed.

Consistency is an inside job.

Most people think consistency is about discipline or willpower….this isn’t the entire truth.

If your internal world feels chaotic, overwhelmed, anxious, restless, or fragmented, consistency becomes incredibly difficult.

You end up trying to create external structure without addressing what's happening internally.. You buy the planner, sign up for the gym, or pay for the class..

And then...nothing.

Not because you're lazy.

Not because there is something wrong with you.

One of the things I love about Ayurveda is that it explains something most of us have experienced:

Why is it so easy to do the things that make us feel worse and so hard to do the things that help?

Ayurveda says that an imbalance craves the very thing that feeds the imbalance.

High Vata wants more Vata: more stimulation, scrolling, information, and busyness.

Which is unfortunate because most of us are already living in a Vata-aggravating world.

We're exhausted. Burnt out. Constantly taking in information. Moving from one thing to the next without much space in between.

And while scrolling social media or zoning out to Netflix may feel relaxing in the moment, we're often still consuming. The nervous system never fully gets a chance to settle.

Vata is one of the three energies that make up who you are. It is light, cold, dry, creative, and it LOVES movement.

When Vata is high, you tend to be all over the place.

You get a brilliant idea. You start the project. You join the gym. You buy the planner.

And then...it fizzles.

Vata loves inspiration. What it doesn’t love is structure.

A schedule can feel restrictive.

The irony?

The thing that feels restrictive is often the medicine.

A little more rhythm.

A little more routine.

A little more grounding.

Not perfection. Not rigidity.

Just enough consistency to help your nervous system settle.

As Vata settles down, the magic of the other doshas can step in.

Pitta provides focus and follow-through.

Kapha provides steadiness and determination..

In fact, the more consistent you become, the more you reduce Vata.

Which brings me to another realization:

Consistency creates consistency.

We often think we need to feel consistent before we can act consistently.

But it actually works the other way around.

Consistency builds self-trust.

At some point, you're no longer trying to become someone who meditates, walks, writes, or reads every evening.

You are simply someone who does those things.

And this doesn't just apply to day to day life.

It applies to your finances and your business, too.

The person who consistently saves $50 a month builds more wealth than the person who waits for the perfect time to start.

The business owner who builds relationships on a regular basis will grow their business faster than someone who doesn’t.

Small actions compound. Consistency compounds.

So how does a girl calm down her Vata?

• Go back and read my post on Dinacharya. Pick ONE way to start your day every day.

• Eat mostly warm, cooked foods. Yes, I know we're moving into summer. If you love your smoothie, add a little cinnamon and let it warm closer to room temperature before drinking it. If you're eating salads, add roasted vegetables, protein, olive oil, avocado, or seeds,

• Practice Abhyanga.

• Add a dash of good seasalt to your warm morning water.

• Practice grounding breathwork every day.

• Breathe deeply into your belly as you can. Then imagine the breath flowing through your legs and out your feet. i do this every morning while filling my tea kettle.

• Find an accountability partner. My writing journey started because I committed to a friend that I was going to do it. She checked in on me.

• If you suspect ADHD might be part of the picture, try body doubling. Work alongside someone else.

But number one? Don't bite off more than you can chew.

Start with one thing.

Keep it small.

Show yourself you can be consistent.

You can always add more later.

Let consistency create consistency.

Because the more consistent you become, the more Vata settles. And the more Vata settles, the easier consistency becomes.

Maybe you aren't inconsistent after all.

Maybe you're simply trying to create consistency from a place of imbalance.

PS. If money is one of the places where consistency feels hardest—checking your accounts, saving, investing, following through on financial goals—you're not alone.

Download my free guide, 5 Ways to Stop Stressing About Money, to learn how your nervous system shapes your financial decisions and what you can do to feel calmer, more confident, and more in control. Grab it HERE.