What If Your “Healthy” Habit Is Weakening You?

What if your “healthy” habit is weakening you?

Earlier this week, I wrote about getting sick right after declaring that I was no longer going to put myself at the bottom of my priority list.

And about the question I kept asking myself all week:

What do I really need right now?

There's another question that's guided me since I started studying Ayurveda:

What strengthens me? What weakens me?

Simple.

Not always easy.

Because most of us don't move through our days asking that question.

We just do what we do.

We work.

We eat salad.

We go to our super sweaty yoga class or HIIT class.

We fast.

We say yes.

We say no.

We call our mothers.

We follow routines we've decided are “good for us.”

And some of those things probably are good for us.

But here's where Ayurveda gets interesting:

What strengthens one person can weaken another.

And what strengthens you today may not be what strengthens you tomorrow.

Even “good” habits aren't universally good.

Last week was a pretty perfect example.

Going to the gym usually strengthens me.

But when I was sick, depleted and exhausted?

Dragging myself there because I was supposed to exercise would have weakened me.

Movement usually strengthens me.

But I'd just spent a day taking almost 13,000 steps while working on a home project.

More movement wasn't what I needed.

I needed to lie the fuck down.

I needed pho.

Yoga nidra.

Time outside.

Slowness.

Gentle stretching.

And eventually, when my body was ready again, movement.

None of those things is inherently better than the others.

That's the point.

Ayurveda isn't particularly interested in giving every person the exact same list of “healthy” things to do.

It teaches us to pay attention.

What's happening in me right now?

What qualities are present?

What am I getting too much of?

What am I not getting enough of?

What strengthens me?

What weakens me?

Ayurveda gives us a framework for answering those questions.

One of its foundational principles is that like increases like and opposites bring balance.

If there's already too much movement, more movement may increase the imbalance and show up like anxiety, restlessness, insomnia, and worry.

If you're cold, dry and depleted, something cold, dry and light—even something we'd ordinarily call “healthy”—may not be particularly nourishing.

If you're feeling heavy, stagnant and dull, on the other hand, more stillness may not be what you need at all.

This is why Ayurveda can't really be reduced to a list of rules.

And it's one of the things I love most about it.

The goal isn't to become better at following the rules.

It's to become better at knowing yourself.

There's one more piece of this that I wrote about back in January and still believe deeply:

When you do something that weakens you and then beat yourself up for doing it, you've just added another layer of weakening.

So this isn't another opportunity to monitor yourself and get it right.

It's an invitation to get curious.

Try asking yourself today:

Will this strengthen me or weaken me?

Then treat the answer as information.

And remember: strengthening doesn't always mean comfortable or easy. Sometimes the thing that strengthens us requires effort, courage, or doing something we'd rather avoid. Weakening can feel easier in the moment, but make life harder in the long run.

You don't necessarily have to choose perfectly.

Sometimes we need the popcorn and Netflix binge.

Just notice.

And choose again.

That's the kind of self-awareness I want to help women develop in Living Ayurveda.

Not a bunch of rigid rules that become another form of self-deprivation, but gentle guidelines for living a life you love.

That's what I want to explore with women in Living Ayurveda.

I want to teach you the incredible wisdom of Ayurveda—but I also want this experience to be a softening.

A softening toward yourself.

Not Ayurveda as another set of rigid rules to follow or another way to decide you're doing life wrong.

But as a framework for becoming more curious about yourself. More compassionate toward yourself. More able to recognize what strengthens you, what weakens you, and what helps you return to balance.

Living Ayurveda is a small, experiential fall mentorship for women beginning September 11. We'll learn together, practice together, experiment, and give ourselves time to integrate what we're discovering into our actual lives.

If that sounds like something you've been longing for, you can learn more here: