Scarcity Is Stealing More Than Your Money
There was a time when scarcity ruled my life completely.
And I had NO IDEA.
It influenced nearly every decision I made.
Looking back now, it seems so obvious. I was terrified of losing my house or not being able to buy groceries.
I fought with my husband about money as I tried desperately to control his spending. And mine.
I was constantly stressed about money, doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out how in the fuck I was ever going to retire.
Yet, I overspent. I avoided looking at my bank account and credit card statements. I didn’t save because I didn’t think I could.
(When I absolutely could have.)
I would even go so far as to say that I got my MBA because I was afraid being a therapist and coach would never pay me what I wanted to earn.
And then, when I started my private practice, I couldn’t charge a decent fee because I didn’t have enough years under my belt.
I didn’t have enough training.
I needed another certification.
And once I had that certification, well, then maybe I could raise my fees a little.
There was always something standing between me and having enough.
But here’s what I’ve come to understand about scarcity: It doesn’t just rob us of money. It robs us of ourselves.
Scarcity is sneaky.
It causes you to overwork because you need that money.
It bullies you into believing you have to build your business 24 hours a day, and to hell with prioritizing your own needs.
It talks you into taking clients or projects that feel awful.
It stops you from taking days off.
It convinces you to keep your rates low so people can “afford you.”
(What?!?!)
Therapists and helpers are especially susceptible to this one because of the noble poverty thread that runs through our professions.
It twists your stomach into knots when you aren’t doing something that might make you money.
It tells you that you aren’t as good as your competitors.
That there isn’t enough pie to go around.
That someone else’s success somehow means less success for you.
And it will convince you to keep dumping money into certifications, SEO, business coaches, and all the shit “they” tell you that you need.
Even when none of it is moving the needle the way you hoped.
Scarcity will literally squeeze the life force straight out of you in an attempt to get that dollar.
And the really weird thing about scarcity?
It can show up in completely opposite ways.
You can be so afraid of not having money that you avoid looking at your finances altogether. You overspend, ignore your credit card statements, and don’t save or invest.
Or you can pinch pennies so tightly that you barely allow yourself to enjoy what you’ve earned.
You can have money and still be terrified of losing it.
You can have a thriving business and still feel like you’re one bad month away from financial ruin.
You can keep chasing more and more, convinced that the next income milestone will finally make you feel safe.
But somehow, enough never feels like enough.
And all the while, your mind keeps spinning, trying to figure out how to get ahead.
Until you feel like you’re drowning.
Scarcity is about money.
But it’s also about something much deeper.
It’s the feeling that we aren’t enough.
That we don’t have enough.
That there isn’t enough time.
That we’re falling behind.
And in our constant pursuit of more money, more security, more success, we begin neglecting the very parts of ourselves that need our attention.
Our relationships.
Our health.
Our creativity.
Our joy.
Our need for rest.
The things that make life feel like life.
I have a coaching client who loves to make music.
But she hasn’t been making music because she’s so focused on building her business. There are always more important things to do.
So I gave her homework.
Make music.
Not because making music will help her attract more clients or earn more money.
Not because creativity will make her a more productive entrepreneur.
But because she loves making music.
Because that part of her deserves to be tended to.
Because she’s a whole human being, not just a business owner.
And because what the hell is the point of building a successful business if we have to abandon ourselves in the process?
We can do all the money work in the world. We can explore the fears, beliefs, and experiences that shaped our relationship with money.
But, we also have to tend to the parts of ourselves that have been waiting patiently for our attention while we’ve been so busy trying to get ahead.
One of the Ayurvedic philosophies I bring into my work is Svastha, which means being established or situated within yourself.
Learning to recognize what you need in this particular season of life.
On this particular day.
In this particular moment.
And beginning to notice what is strengthening you and what is weakening you.
Not what some expert, coach, or person on Instagram tells you that you should be doing.
What actually supports you.
Maybe it’s making music.
Maybe it’s taking an afternoon off instead of squeezing in another client.
Or saying no.
Or going for a walk when you’re exhausted instead of pushing through another hour of work.
And maybe it’s doing absolutely fucking nothing.
Read more about Svastha here.
Scarcity is weakening.
Even when it disguises itself as ambition, responsibility, or being a good business owner.
It keeps us grasping, striving, controlling, and trying to outrun a fear that never seems to go away.
But that fear can also show us where something within us needs attention.
And sometimes, what needs our attention has very little to do with money itself, but everything to do with our relationship with it.
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