**No More Blood Money (Why people pleasing doesn’t equal a wealth mindset)

Ok, this might sound dramatic… but think about how we’ve been conditioned to work.

We celebrate phrases like:

• “blood, sweat, and tears,”

• “backbreaking work,”

• “luck is a dividend of sweat.”

We applaud self-sacrifice. We praise the ones who work their asses off. Who give themselves away for the job, who carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.

And yes—there are moments in life that require intensity.

But as a daily expectation? As a lifestyle? As the foundation of how we make money?

That’s where it becomes blood money, and I don’t mean unethically sourced diamonds.

I mean your blood.

Your life force.

Your nervous system.

And this gets especially confusing for women raised to serve.

I was taught to “serve deeply,” to give my best, to be a conduit for transformation for whoever sits in front of me, and to make service the entire reason for my work.

But service becomes dangerous when you equate service with self-abandonment—or when you're addicted to the praise that comes from doing “backbreaking work.”

And for those of us who:

• stayed quiet to keep the peace
• cleaned the kitchen to lighten the mood
• cracked the joke to diffuse tension
• monitored everyone else’s emotions to stay safe

…service easily becomes a socially sanctioned form of self-abandonment.

So when someone tells you to “come from service,” it often gets misinterpreted as:

• seeing clients whenever they want
• undercharging
• not charging for missed sessions
• giving away your time
• overscheduling yourself
• avoiding necessary-but-hard conversations
• living at the bottom of your own list, without lunch, rest, or exercise

Even in salaried jobs, the pattern is the same: women overwork, overbook, overextend—for employers who will take everything you give and never love you back with the same devotion.

All of this is people-pleasing behavior.

And underneath it is scarcity—money scarcity and, even more powerfully, love scarcity.

The belief that to earn money or keep love, you must override yourself.

Sacrifice yourself. Give your blood, your time, and your energy for whatever it is you want.

A scarcity mindset whispers: “There is never enough—time, money, love—so I must fight for every piece.”

And scarcity never sleeps. A moment of connection or a paycheck may soothe it for a moment, but the internal race doesn’t stop because the deeper belief hasn’t changed:

“There isn’t enough of the pie for me.”

But when you embody a wealth mindset, everything shifts.

A wealth mindset says:

You can serve deeply—with boundaries.
You can love your work—without being consumed by it.
You can show up fully—without self-sacrifice.

There is always enough.

I am allowed to have enough.

And I don’t need to bleed for it.

You don’t have to make money by people-pleasing.

You don’t have to work yourself to the bone.

You don’t have to kill off pieces of yourself in the name of “service.”

You can work enough, not too much, because you trust Life always has your back.

You can care for your clients without abandoning yourself.

Because true service isn’t martyrdom.

True service is aligned, regulated, and boundaried.

And money earned from that place?

That’s not blood money.

That’s wealth that doesn’t cost you your life.

So when I say “no more blood money,” I mean:

No more trading your nervous system for a paycheck.

No more bleeding for belonging.

No more killing off pieces of yourself to feel worthy.

No more working against your own body in the name of “being helpful.”

You get to make money without losing yourself.

You get to be prosperous without being depleted.

You get to serve without self-abandoning.

Your wealth should not demand your blood.

P.S.

I want to be really honest: I could have titled this “Note to Self.”
This is one of the top three things I work on every single day—not giving myself away for a dollar… or for love, acceptance, or belonging.

If you see yourself in this, don’t expect an overnight transformation. People-pleasing and fawning are nervous system survival responses.

Just begin by noticing how you make decisions through this lens… and then, slowly, gently, start choosing from a place of sovereignty

xo-Nichole