How to Stop Trying to Control Everything Around Money
If you’re constantly trying to control everything around money—your income, your clients, your outcomes—you’re not alone.
Most women I work with don’t just want more money.
They want to feel calm with money.
But control often gets in the way of that.
Every morning, I say Tosha Silver’s abundance prayer.
It changes you from the inside out. It chips away at grasping, attachment, and control.
It invites you to see yourself from a place of love and acceptance.
The prayer reminds you that you are valuable and lovable—and that the Divine resides within you, not outside of you.
This morning, I realized I was just reading it.
For the past several months, it had become rote. I was saying the words, but they weren’t landing. They weren’t being absorbed into my being.
It had become something I just “did” before getting out of bed.
Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing…but today it hit differently.
I actually heard the words.
Particularly this line:
“…knowing that You are the unlimited Source of all.”
I forget that sometimes.
I start to believe that I am the source of all.
My actions are the source. My clients. My programs. My effort. My pushing. My figuring it out.
I become the one who has to make everything happen…or find someone who will do it for me.
And just like that, I slip back into control.
Again.
Over the last few years, as I’ve deepened my trust in the Divine, I’ve let her become the CEO of my business.
And business is good.
But there is a part of me that wants it to be even better. More lucrative. More easeful.
So I push.
I grasp.
I get attached to outcomes.
And I forget the actual goal.
Yes, I help women with money.
But money is just the way in.
What I really want for women is this:
To feel held in their lives. To feel safe leaving what isn’t right. To set boundaries. To move through challenges with resilience. To trust themselves. To trust LIFE.
Because things will still go wrong.
At every income level.
And when they do, I want them to know that nothing has gone wrong…even as they fully feel everything that comes with it.
If I’m honest, my business can become a way out of my own discomfort.
Right now, that shows up around debt.
And what looks like “working toward goals” or “building something bigger” can actually be control, grasping, and attachment in disguise.
It takes a really clear and honest mind to see that.
This morning, I saw it.
Not because I’m special.
But because I was willing to look.
Because I’ve been asking to see my attachments.
And because I’ve done enough of my own work to loosen the grip of the parts of me that believe:
I have to be in control. I can only trust myself. I have to succeed to be loved.
So today, I come back to this:
I am not the source.
I am not in charge of everything.
I get to show up. I get to act. I get to care deeply about what I’m creating.
And I also get to release the grip.
Again and again and again.
PS-If you’re noticing where you’re gripping, pushing, or trying to control everything…
This is exactly the kind of pattern we uncover in a Money Deep Dive.
It’s a 90-minute session where we look at what’s really driving your relationship with money—and begin to shift it at the root.
