How I Accidentally Became a Financial Feminist
You cannot understand women's relationship with money without understanding the world women learned about money in.
I never thought I'd become one of those anti-patriarchy women. I like my bra. I fall easily into traditional gender roles. I also prided myself on being easygoing. I could go with the flow. I wasn't demanding.
Hello, fawner. (That's the fawn response: keeping the peace by being agreeable.)
What I called "easygoing" had a lot more to do with feeling powerless and being afraid of being "too much" than I realized. And the deeper I've gone into my own money work, and the more money work I've done with women, the harder this has become to ignore.
So, I accidentally became a financial feminist.
I used to think feminism meant proving women could bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan. We have proven the shit out of that. And somehow we're also supposed to be well-rested, emotionally available, sexually vibrant, ambitious-but-not-intimidating, and getting 100 grams of protein a day.
That's not freedom. That's exhausting.
To me, feminism is simply the belief that women deserve the same rights, opportunities, and agency as men. It's choice and FREEDOM. It doesn't require me to reject femininity, or men, or masculinity. And it certainly doesn't require me to do everything a man can do while also doing everything women have traditionally done.
Yet for some reason, most women feel like they need to do and be it all.
But, when it comes to money....
here's what I hear from women over and over:
I'm not good enough yet.
I shouldn't charge that much.
I need another certification before I can charge that.
I feel guilty raising my rates.
Who am I to make that much money?
I'll just find a man to take care of me or my finances.
I don't want people to think I'm greedy.
I feel bad saying no.
Underneath almost all of them is a very old idea about what it means to be a "good" woman:
Be successful, but not too ambitious. Make money, but don't be greedy. Charge what you're worth, but make sure everyone can afford you. Be independent, but don't intimidate anyone. Have boundaries, but don't be difficult. Be powerful.
Some of that came from our families, religion, relationships, school, or media. And all of it developed inside a much bigger soup: patriarchy. For centuries, women were rewarded (mostly by being cared for) for being agreeable, dependent, quiet, and small. That doesn't disappear because the laws change.
And the laws didn't change that long ago. Until the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, a bank could refuse a woman a credit card without a husband's signature. That's my lifetime, not ancient history.
So when a woman tells me she feels guilty charging $200 an hour or 10k for a coaching package, I don't think the only question is What happened in your childhood? That matters. But so does What happened to women?
You've probably already tried to fix this.
Maybe you changed your pricing. Hired the business coach. Told yourself to be more confident. Promised that next time you'd just say your rate without explaining it, discounting it, or justifying it.
And something still happens inside you. You hesitate. You compare. You overgive. You get another certificate. You make good money but feel like you should be doing more. You want more, and then feel guilty for wanting it.
Recently, a client almost sheepishly admitted, "I want lots of money."
And then she immediately started explaining herself. Why she wanted it. What she'd do with it. Why it didn't make her greedy, selfish, or a bad person.
She needed to prove she was still good even though she wanted lots of money.
That's the pattern. And that's the work we do inside Awakened Wealth.
It's not just how to make more money. In six weeks, we get curious about what happens when you receive more. Charge more. Work less. Say no. Become more visible. Stop proving your value. We look at who you are, what you actually want, and which beliefs you're ready to stop carrying. We begin, or continue, dismantling the thoughts that were put upon you by living in a patriarchical society that keep you stuck in self-loathing and not feeling enough. From here you begin to trust yourself, life, and money more.
Last night I was watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and she asked, "What if women are more important than God? What if we discover one day that we were always the ones in charge… just no one told us?"
I loved that. Maybe this work is really about finding your power, your voice, and your inner wealth.
We're not going to dismantle centuries of patriarchy in six weeks. But every time a woman stops apologizing for wanting more, charges what she wants to charge, says no without writing a fucking dissertation, or allows herself to take up more space, there's a ripple that reaches far beyond her.
If you read this and thought, Oh...this is the work I need, get on the Awakened Wealth waitlist. I'll let you know when the next space opens.
And next week: women are about to inherit a shit-ton of money. Are we ready to receive it?
